TIDY YOUR FLAT YOU LAZY FUCKING BITCH!!!!!!!

Ok. so i have to be out of my flat by november 1st, and to say it's a "mess" is an understatement. I know what i have to do, i need to tidy it the fuck up and move all my shit out. BUT I'M FUCKING DREADING IT!!!!!!!!!!! proper dreading it. it's such a mess i just don't know where to start so i thought it might make me feel better to write down all my thoughts then i can pick a date to just get it over and done with!!!!!

WHAT I NEED TO DO.

1- wash the fucking dishes numero 1 - they have been there about 2 months. (no i aren't joking) don't judge me ok i am always fucking hungover and i DON'T do dishes. But i really do need to get them out of the way!!!! I'm dreading picking them out of the sink and taking them one by one to wash in the bathroom sink as they can't be washed in the kitchen sink cos everytime it's used the pipe bursts and leaks downstairs in to the hallway which then causes residents to complain which causes fat care taker bitch to come braying at my door at 9AFUCKINGM when i'm hanging like a bitch to have a go at me about how there is water all over the floor downstairs. IT AIN'T A PROBLEM FOR ME BITCH!!!!!!! I won't miss her. ok i have gone off the subject, RIGHT. AMY-JO, YOU ARE TO DO THE DISHES!!!!!! yes sir!!!!!

2- on the subject of dishes, many have been smashed so i will also have to go out and buy more plates as broken plates might put getting my bond back at stake, which my mam payed and has already made clear if she dosen't get that money back, she is throwing me out. FUCK MY LIFE. so yes, NEW PLATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. and a pan, and some glasses. (just remembered those)

4.THE SOFA!!!!!!! week one in my apartment, drunken Amy + bigggg rugby player dude + horny = BROKEN SOFA!!!! i must find a beam to replace the broken beam. got it amy??? GOT IT!!!!!!!!!! (picture evidence. fuck fuck fuck)



5.bring fridge off balcony and put it back indoors - that will only take like a minute, it was getting in the way.

6.wash ALL original bedsheets/sofa throws and put them back where they belong, ie, on bed and on sofa!!! but first, put beds back in bedroom!!! Oh and must buy new bedsheet to replace the one i cut holes out of to make ghost costume. (how fucking good is my costume though??)



7.take knickers/barnaby the barbie/all other decorations down and replace with original decoration. which reminds me, where the FUCKKKK did i stash that ugly flower painting!?!?!?! fuck fuck fuck.

8. FIND UGLY FLOWER PAINTING!!!!!!!!!

9.throw that bin out. seriously Amy, don't even bother emptying it cos that shit STINKS. you bought that bin anyway, just throw it strait in to a big blag bag along with pizza boxes/burger king wrappers/general rubbish and shite then take it down to the bins. YOU CAN DO IT GIRL!!!! I HAVE FAITH IN YOU!!!!!!!!

10.Now.... get all my shite together, and mam and kayleigh round to haul it all in to the car to be taken home!!!!!!!

11.finally, BLEACH CLEAN N BLEACH BABY!!!!!!!! i need to sweep and mop the place up and spray some perfume to make it smell pretty. and then stay the fuck out of there so that when the day comes for me to get out, it's PERFECT!!!!!

oh and before all of this... GET LIGHTBULBS!!!!!! actualy, get MAM to get lightbulbs. then get mam to fit lightbulbs. can't tidy up and clean if i can't see anything can i!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW..... what date should i pick to do this and does anybody want to help!?!?!?!?!? :D