Pros and cons of fucking on the first date.

PROS OF FUCKING ON THE FIRST DATE.

- You get to test out his fuck wand.

If it's massive, and/or he knows how to use it, you know that you didn't waste time shaving your fanny before this date, you can start to think about a future together and you know even if other aspects of the realationship are shitty, he compensates in cock.

If it's tiny and/or he is shit then you can make your excuses right now, it's better to spring the old "sorry sebastian, but i haven't gotten over the death of my pet budgie yet, i'm just not ready for a realationship" line, sooner, rather than later.

- You get to impress him.

This first shag is absoloutley essential. If you fuck it up he is definitely not going to want to see you again. So it is very important that:

1 - You are not TOO drunk. Throwing up/passing out during sex is so not the way forward. (Trust me, i know!)

2 - You are presentable "down there". I can't stress this enough!! SHAVE YOUR FUCKING MINGE. Your chances of a 2nd date will increase by 99.9%, and a quick spritz of perfume on your tuppence before you "get down to buisness" is always a nice touch.

3 - If your taking him back to yours, be prepared!!

Tidy up before you go out just incase. Hide all embarrasing items that could make him go off you; Teddy bears/boy band posters/soiled underwear etc, etc. If he is really in to something, making it look like you are in to the same bullshit could really benefit you! Example, you know this guy is a huge fan of astronomy, so you stick a telescope infront of the window and leave a few globes lying around. He will be so impressed, he'll probably rim you.


3 - The date wasn't a waste of time!

So your date didn't go too well. He bored the clit off you/smelt a little/didn't pay the bill/made fun of your disabled brother/his accent was annoying - whatever, the date was a waste of time.

BUTTT...

He is still gorgeous and worth a ride!!!! Fuck him anyway. You owe it to yourself after putting up with him on your date!

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CONS OF FUCKING ON THE FIRST DATE.

1 - He thinks.. You're a slag.

Let's just weigh up the pros and the cons.....







Drum roll please.....




















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PROS WIN!!!!!!!! GET HIM SHAGGED!!!!!